


Things That Let Me Know I Love You

by AlecWrites



Series: Valentine's Kisses 2020 [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi's pov, M/M, Pining, Secret Crush, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22833793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlecWrites/pseuds/AlecWrites
Summary: When the person serves as a sort of light, a sense of direction. And everything you find yourself doing isn’t for yourself but another person entirely. Someone who probably doesn’t need your help, or guidance and you don’t need to provide it. But you want to, and everything that you do makes that person smile just a little bit brighter than the day before. And god you crave to see that twinkle in their eyes and hear the laughter in their chest.That’s how Akaashi Keiji feels about Bokuto Koutarou.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: Valentine's Kisses 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633693
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	Things That Let Me Know I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Day 8: Laying a gentle kiss to the back of the other’s hand.

Discerning whether or not you truly love someone is extremely difficult. You aren’t able to tell right away, and sometimes you aren’t able to tell at all. Sometimes, you need someone to spell it out for you, and then you begin to pick up on it. Or sometimes, you’re just too oblivious and stupid that you couldn’t understand even if someone stood on top of a building and shouted their confession at you. Or gifted you a present every time there was the smallest holiday, like presidents day that’s not even celebrated in Japan. Or when they kiss you on the cheek every day when saying goodbye. Or when they offer to walk you home even though their house is in the opposite direction. 

Of course, the person could just be extremely nice and charitable. But going to such extents as to host a surprise birthday party, even if they got the wrong date? Or trying their hardest to study with you, when you both know for a fact that they’re not really retaining any information. Or when they ask for constant validation for something that they’ve done. None of these things could mean anything, it could genuinely mean that this person is just dumb, or needs validation for everything and doesn’t want to let anyone down.

But doesn’t that sound horrible? Wouldn’t you rather fantasize that maybe they like you? And not in a friend type of way, more of a-” I would do anything for you” kind of way. One that makes your heart burst out of your chest when they smile or laugh. Or honestly just breathe. 

When the person serves as a sort of light, a sense of direction. And everything you find yourself doing isn’t for yourself but another person entirely. Someone who probably doesn’t need your help, or guidance and you don’t need to provide it. But you want to, and everything that you do makes that person smile just a little bit brighter than the day before. And _ god _ you crave to see that twinkle in their eyes and hear the laughter in their chest.

That’s how Akaashi Keiji feels about Bokuto Koutarou.

It is an undeniable thing, and it's completely indescribable when you’re able to establish feelings for someone. It makes you see them differently, makes you wonder if you could ever truly love them, as a pair. As a companion. A life partner. Someone you could devote your life to with a few simple words. But those words don't come easily to Akaashi. Actually, they didn’t come at all. He didn’t have the childhood environment that most of us grew up with. The one with open arms, and a welcoming family. His family never kissed goodbye, never said I love you. They hardly shared what they truly felt at the dinner table. Of course, regular questions were asked, “How was school? What did you do today?” They were obligatory questions, ones that Akaashi knew so well that the answers came like clockwork. Dinner was dull, breakfast was dull. But either changed the moment Akaashi stepped onto campus. Actually, he couldn’t even make it to campus before the two-toned male he had fallen in love with was already barreling toward him screaming “AGggggashiiiii!!”

Akaashi Keiji attended an all-boy prestigious private school here in Japan. Something he neither cared for nor disliked. It was something of a standard, his father went here, and his father before him. Even if Akaashi wanted to change schools, it would just end up being another private or charter school. Akaashi’s home life was boring, but his school life when Bokuto was around was something to be desired. Akaashi craved it, to see them smile, to see the way he sweats at practice to see the light in his eyes when he saw him. But they were friends, really good friends. But not too good that he was allowed to come over. No one was allowed to go to Akaashi’s house. His father just didn’t allow it. Maybe he had something to hide?

Akaashi didn’t want to think about that as he approached Bokuto, more like dodged Bokuto so he wouldn’t die, but the specifics weren’t important. Bokuto was able to make life fun, although Akaashi hardly ever admitted that he was having fun, or maybe it was difficult for others to have fun. Bokuto never ran out of energy. Now, one of Akaashi’s favorite times of the day, where Bokuto leaves a soft gentle kiss against Akaashi’s forehead. In Akaashi’s mind, he had to remind himself that the kiss is a simple matter of greeting, not something romantic in the slightest. The forehead kiss is a sign of comfort and trust, something that Bokuto and Akaashi share, so it means nothing. Or so he tells himself.

They walk onto campus past the school gates, and Bokuto floods Akaashi with new information. Anything he wasn’t able to tell him about during his phone call. Akaashi is allowed a one hour phone call, before studies, dinner, and bedtime. Which Akaashi spends every day talking to Bokuto. More like listening to Bokuto, but his time is well spent all the same. His father had almost become suspicious from the way Akaashi would sit in silence on the couch, while on the phone, flicking aimlessly through T.V. But he never questioned Akaashi, so he didn’t worry. 

Bokuto would tell him about his family, and each time he did that Bokuto would offer Akaashi to meet them. Invite him over to study or for dinner. Bokuto would admit that he spoke about Akaashi a lot to his family, and Akaashi’s heart would beat just a little bit faster. And his face would be a little bit redder. And something in Bokuto’s expression would turn from joy to concern, and Akaashi would ward him off, telling him that Akaashi felt fine.

Akaashi always felt fine when he was with Bokuto. Even if his heart skipped a beat a little faster and his eyes wanted to water from the amount of laughter that spilled from his mouth. Bokuto was always there beside him, making him feel more than fine, better, happier, lighter.

Bokuto Koutarou was like a drug, something that Akaashi could never recover from, something that was so addicting he could be arrested and wouldn’t even bat an eyelash. Somehow, that’s what Bokuto felt like to him. The sun, it’s warmth bringing him joy. A drug, in which he will never recover from. A safe haven, bringing him endless security. Bokuto was everything to him, and Bokuto will always be everything to him. As long as Bokuto will have him. 

It probably took longer than it should have to convince Akaashi’s dad to allow him to go over to Bokuto’s for the night. Simply for dinner, for Akaashi to meet Bokuto’s parents, maybe watch a movie and then Akaashi will head home. The raven knows the night he is in for, if Bokuto Koutarou is a bouncing ball of excitement, he must have gotten it from somewhere. It has to be from the parents. However, when Akaashi rings the doorbell, he’s met with a gentle-looking woman, who greets him with a bow and an introduction. Akaashi returns the gesture, holding up a bag of pre-packaged pastries as he enters. The woman’s eyes go bright, Akaashi notices and he manages to smile sweetly. A gasp is heard from the kitchen and when Akaashi turns his gaze toward the sound he’s met with a man, that resembles a striking appearance to Bokuto. Akaashi realizes this must be his father.

“Koutarou, I think you failed to mention how handsome this young man is,” Bokuto’s father speaks loudly into the home. There’s a large crash from upstairs until it travels onto the staircase and into the main room. Where Bokuto runs into the room and looks around at his parents and then Akaashi. The raven takes a deep breath, watching the way Bokuto’s hair falls loosely around his ears, and how it sways on the top of his head. He’s mesmerized by this for a few moments before Bokuto is pulling him into a big hug. Akaashi’s feet leave the ground, and the air leaves his lungs. But Akaashi bares with it until he’s placed back down and Bokuto is smiling down at him with that bright smile.

“Welcome to my home!” Bokuto says motioning with his arms, he then turns to pull out a chair for Akaashi to sit down in, and then takes the seat beside him. 

“I hope you like fish,” Bokuto’s mother says with a weary smile. 

“I do,” Akaashi concurs easily.

-

Dinner was amazing, a lot better than Akaashi could ever make himself. The meal was so light that he felt amazing afterward. So when Bokuto invited Akaashi up to his room, he didn’t think twice. The room was a lot tidier than Akaashi originally thought, Bokuto must have cleaned it before Akaashi came over. 

_ Wouldn’t that mean, he wanted me to come up here with him? _

The thought lingered in his mind as he walked around the room, listening to Bokuto explain all of his poster and collecter items. Akaashi’s room was extremely dull compared to Bokuto’s his was almost like a museum. However, the atmosphere was comfortable, fitting for someone like Bokuto. The energy was lively but calming. Akaashi imagines Bokuto is able to sleep like a rock.

Akaashi sits on the edge of the bed, and Bokuto plops beside him. 

“Whadda think?” Bokuto asks.

“It’s very  _ you,  _ I like it,” Akaashi says with a nod. Bokuto makes a strange noise under his breath, something like halted excitement. 

Akaashi is very aware of Bokuto’s warmth beside him. Something he’s felt often, something that is usually comforting but this isn’t. It’s making him nervous, and he doesn’t know how to react. He looks over at Bokuto, who is already looking at him. Akaashi gulps. They’re too close, and Bokuto’s gaze keeps flipping from Akaashi’s eyes to his lips. The raven can feel the blood rushing in his ears. 

Akaashi takes a deep breath before moving his hand to grab Bokuto’s and placing a gentle kiss to the back of it. Akaashi’s lips are soft and gentle. And Bokuto’s eyes widen. Akaashi’s not sure that Bokuto entirely understands this gesture, but Bokuto smiles away, giving him a huge hug and pulling him onto the bed. 

Not a bad way to spend Valentine’s day.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I say this every time but genuinely kudos and comments are appreciated!!!!


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